Felicia

Pistanthrophobia
 
Dear future self. 
I have a few things I need to say to you, things that only you and I know about. 
Things that you never had the words to speak out about, but the thoughts to keep to yourself for as long as you would live. Things that for your environment seemed foreign and obscure, in the reflection of your indemnified laugther and gererous sarcasm. 

Pistanthrophobia. 
The fear of trusting someone, something, somewhere, anywhere, anytime, anyone. 

Dear future self. 
The first day you began high school, you were angry, scared and confused. To avoid to make depression sound like something trendy and cliché, I'd like to encapsulate our motivation to live, with an abcent self-preservation. 
We both know that it wasn't because growing up was hard, or because of the unsupportive environment. It came from inside, and it wrenched your sences. You always new that there was something missing – something that lacked both color and charm – and it left you hanging on a fragile thread between living and dying. 
 
This is something we've lived with for as long as we can remember. Like a shadow behind an unlocked door. 

The last years have not been easy for us. There was a handful of times where you considered breaking up, not only with school and our friends, but with life, and some of the times we almost lost it. You will until the day you now indwell wear a coat over our body that symbolizes our most severe struggles. Our times of feeling less to nothing at all. 

And there will not be a day in your life where you will not be reminded of it. 
 
Dear future self. 
I have a few things I need to say to you, things that probably never will reach the borders of companionship. 
Things that you'll never have the words to speak out about, but the thoughts to keep to yourself for as long as you will live. Things that for your environment seemes foreign and obscure, in the reflection of your indemnified laugther and generous sarcasm. 

Dear furure self, 
– you hold the fear of trusting someone, something, somewhere, anywhere, anytime, anyone –

and you will always remain silent. 
Skriv en kommentar
Namn*
E-postadress*
Blogg-adress